This Coffee is Disgusting

Let’s be honest for just a second. We have all done some pretty fucked up shit that we regret. Maybe you've gotten drunk and hooked up with some stranger you had only just met. You find yourself asking, “Well, was it at least good? Was it worth it?” No, it probably was completely terrible. Why would you think this? Because you don’t even remember what happened. Were you that drunk? No, he just couldn't contain himself and finished before your mind could even begin to process that something was happening.

Or maybe your regret comes in the form of talking to someone you thought was absolutely beautiful. She stood there, in the back of the bar, long blond hair flowing past her slender shoulders, like an ocean of gold meeting the sandy shore. You couldn't help but notice the hazel eyes, curious and bold. She looked up at you, only to look away, revealing her pearly, crowded teeth. Her presence radiated with a soft glow, and it drew you in. You took the first steps, and you risked your dignity. You plunged yourself into new territory. Eye contact was made, and she smiled. You felt a spark, the hair on your arms stood, electrified. And you thought to yourself, “something great is about to start.”

Turns out she’s batshit crazy. She touches your arm, and whispers, “I love your skin.” You don’t know what to fucking do as she goes on about her time in the Appalachian mountains, making moonshine. She tells you about the time she held a séance for her dead hermit crab, Robert. You look around for help, but you know you’re stuck for at least fifteen more minutes.

How about that time you bought $40 boots at Target? You did find out that there’s a shoemaker in your town who will reattach shoe soles. For $40.

Today, I decided I needed some kind of caffeine. I went to a crappy little café and ordered a Chai latte, and completely ignored the young man who asked for my name three times. I was summoned to pick up my beverage and soon discovered that they had forgotten the chai in my chai latte. This would normally be fine, but something prevented me from fully enjoying the coffee I had purchased: it was disgusting.

Coffee, and all drink related to coffee, are incredibly vital in ensuring the quality of life of an individual. Given shitty coffee, the individual will respond negatively, and their whole day can potentially be ruined. Coffee is the oil for the gears of society. It is important.

I drank the shitty coffee.

“You didn't know the coffee was going to be terrible,” you might say. No, in reality I did know. But I took the risk and I made a pretty bad decision. Do I regret it? Absolutely. Did I learn from this mistake? Probably not. Let’s face it, we often don’t learn from our mistakes. Something compelled us to make the original awful decision, and that same compulsion will likely manifest itself in us again. We are flawed creatures, forever destined to repeat mistakes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s bound to happen. Maybe it means we are hopeful. Or maybe it just means we’re morons. Either way, mistakes are made, regret is created, and we are forced to live with our decisions and their consequences. But hey, it isn't all bad. After all, these regrets and mistakes give us something to talk about when we’re sitting around in a crappy little cafe, drinking our disgusting coffee. 

Edge of Nothing

Adela decided to wander off the cliff that stood proudly over the thundering, violent sea.

The inhabitants of the small little sea-side village, Portston, were fond of visiting the cliff and gazing into the distance. During the day, children would stare, creating nautical stories of whales, pirates, sailors, captured princesses, and sea monsters. They laughed at their ridiculous tales. Lovers would daringly dangle their legs over the edge, embracing each others bodies, fantasizing and concocting schemes to run away and get married, have children, and live away from other people, having only each other to keep warm during the chilly nights, their bodies shielding the salty wind. The ocean was hope to the inhabitants.

The ocean was two-faced.

The sun, growing tired of its daily arc across the sapphire sky, would sink, approaching the surface of the water that would soon extinguish its flames. Darkness gave way and spread throughout the air. Like moths to a light, men and women, boys and girls would all soon flutter back to their dimly lit homes, blow the candles out, and close their eyes to become one with the darkness.

The edge of the enigma, once illuminated by the blazing light of the sun, was shrouded by a void. The sky and sea fused together, forming nothing.

Adela stepped off the edge and fell into the enigma.

Questions were asked after the discovery of her seemingly foolish and suicidal actions. Why? Why would she do something as stupid as this? What was she expecting?

The truth is she wasn't expecting anything. What would one expect from nothing?

As the sun set, as the men and women, boys and girls fluttered to their dimly lit homes, as the flames and smoke rising from waxy towers were extinguished, as eyelids protected pupils from the dark, Adela rose, walked towards the edge and took a fleeting step into the enigmatic abyss where she expected nothing.

Well, doesn't that seem silly?

Adela continued to fall. However, after several minutes of falling, she soon found herself slowing down. Pinpoints of light peppered the darkness, and Adela soon discovered that she was suspended in the dark. She swam through the ether that surrounded her. A burning sensation filled her and soon she grew uninterested and bored in exploring nothing. She remained motionless and felt the light within her warm her. She let the cool night time enter her and mix with the fire within her in a cosmic, swirling dance. She radiated.

The following evening, as the sun was nearing horizon, the village gathered by the cliff, looking as far as possible, scanning the sea for any signs of a stupid girl. As the night approached the giant orb of light eventually sank into the sea. It was then the inhabitants noticed a new pinpoint of light, shining brilliantly throughout the salty, cold, night-time air. It radiated.

Err.

He turned to me and said,
"I kind of regret it.
The fear, the anxiety,
And the sudden sense of solace,
The joy and disbelief
After hearing the desired response."
Fuck it, don't bother.
It doesn't even matter.
Put it in your pocket,
Let it ripen and grow,
Let it bloom,
Let it burgeon into something so terribly ugly
You can't bear to look at it.
Once it has matured, crush it,
Let the juices run through your coarse hands,
Watch it drip to the ground,
Creating puddles.
Then, gaze upon the spilt liquid,
And there you will see your reflection.
Smile, for you are solid and intact.
Then walk away and say,
"Fuck it."