This Coffee is Disgusting

Let’s be honest for just a second. We have all done some pretty fucked up shit that we regret. Maybe you've gotten drunk and hooked up with some stranger you had only just met. You find yourself asking, “Well, was it at least good? Was it worth it?” No, it probably was completely terrible. Why would you think this? Because you don’t even remember what happened. Were you that drunk? No, he just couldn't contain himself and finished before your mind could even begin to process that something was happening.

Or maybe your regret comes in the form of talking to someone you thought was absolutely beautiful. She stood there, in the back of the bar, long blond hair flowing past her slender shoulders, like an ocean of gold meeting the sandy shore. You couldn't help but notice the hazel eyes, curious and bold. She looked up at you, only to look away, revealing her pearly, crowded teeth. Her presence radiated with a soft glow, and it drew you in. You took the first steps, and you risked your dignity. You plunged yourself into new territory. Eye contact was made, and she smiled. You felt a spark, the hair on your arms stood, electrified. And you thought to yourself, “something great is about to start.”

Turns out she’s batshit crazy. She touches your arm, and whispers, “I love your skin.” You don’t know what to fucking do as she goes on about her time in the Appalachian mountains, making moonshine. She tells you about the time she held a séance for her dead hermit crab, Robert. You look around for help, but you know you’re stuck for at least fifteen more minutes.

How about that time you bought $40 boots at Target? You did find out that there’s a shoemaker in your town who will reattach shoe soles. For $40.

Today, I decided I needed some kind of caffeine. I went to a crappy little café and ordered a Chai latte, and completely ignored the young man who asked for my name three times. I was summoned to pick up my beverage and soon discovered that they had forgotten the chai in my chai latte. This would normally be fine, but something prevented me from fully enjoying the coffee I had purchased: it was disgusting.

Coffee, and all drink related to coffee, are incredibly vital in ensuring the quality of life of an individual. Given shitty coffee, the individual will respond negatively, and their whole day can potentially be ruined. Coffee is the oil for the gears of society. It is important.

I drank the shitty coffee.

“You didn't know the coffee was going to be terrible,” you might say. No, in reality I did know. But I took the risk and I made a pretty bad decision. Do I regret it? Absolutely. Did I learn from this mistake? Probably not. Let’s face it, we often don’t learn from our mistakes. Something compelled us to make the original awful decision, and that same compulsion will likely manifest itself in us again. We are flawed creatures, forever destined to repeat mistakes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s bound to happen. Maybe it means we are hopeful. Or maybe it just means we’re morons. Either way, mistakes are made, regret is created, and we are forced to live with our decisions and their consequences. But hey, it isn't all bad. After all, these regrets and mistakes give us something to talk about when we’re sitting around in a crappy little cafe, drinking our disgusting coffee.